Finally I am here... Now What???????

Is it really happening?

2012-02-01T21:48:00.005+05:30

Too many shocking incidents happened with regard to Raghav in the past two days...

1. He has a set of friends that he sees everyday during his evening walk. Yesterday one of the mothers suddenly mentioned that her son has started going to play school this week onwards. He stays for 3 hours everyday. (That child is nearing two) It took some time to realize the truth that Raghav will also have to go to a playschool in another 5 months time.

I have been looking forward to have a couple of hours (undisturbed) everyday to finish my household chores. But then to think that Raghav will leave me and go and spend time with some one else for more than 2 hours everyday came in as a huge shock.

2. During his play time in the evening, he makes sure that I am somewhere around him all the time. Even when someone calls out to him, he comes running to me and holds me for a while. Dont know if its insecurity or just shyness. Today when we were walking together with our little and elder friends, one of the mothers asked Raghav to hold her hand and walk. He walked to her and held her hand and started walking. First shock!

We continued walking. When we neared our block, I called out to Raghav. He said NO and wanted to continue walking. So I walked for a little more distance and when the other mother neared her block, she said 'Raghav! Go with amma. Bye'. He gave a puzzled look at me, said bye to me and pointed to their block elevator. Second shock!

Seeing this, she said 'Why dont you go home and come back after a few minutes? We will see how long he stays without you'. Hesitatingly I said Yes. She then took the elevator with her son and mine. I had to cook rice for his dinner and that would take me a solid 15 minutes. I thought may be I can try to finish that work. So I came running home. Before I switched on the gas stove, I called to make sure Raghav is not crying. She said 'He did not even bother, he is playing, so take your time'. I was shell shocked. I have taken him to their house 3 to 4 times. He will sit on my lap and play, he would not even step away from me.

I hurriedly switched on the gas stove and kept the rice. That 15 minutes I did not know what to do. 'What if he suddenly starts crying? How can she manage with both the kids?' This thought filled my mind 25%. I dont know to name the rest 75% thought. Was it possessiveness, or was it time for my insecurity?

The one that was clinging on to me day and night, for 9 months (inside) and 1 1/2 years (outside) is now ready to live independently. Suddenly even I felt very happy. Just yesterday I was thinking how he would manage in a play school in next five months. And today he showed me he is ready for it.

God bless him!

Right or not?

2011-12-16T23:21:00.003+05:30

Can't believe that I have already started screaming, and raising hands to my 18 month old. At the end of the day, I feel sorry and ashamed. But at the same time, I feel some kind of warning is needed to bring in some discipline in him. He has started understanding, and so I guess it is the right time to stop him from doing certain things at home. Well I dont know, I dont feel so good shouting at him. But is there any other way out?

Am I a good mom?

2011-12-05T22:22:00.003+05:30

Till he reached his one year, by God's grace, he did not suffer from any major ailments. I don't remember taking him to doctor many times too.

Unfortunately, exactly on his first birthday in June, he woke up with a slight cold and fever. That started the whole hospital and temple episode. For more than 2 months, I was taking him to hospital and temple so often. His diet reduced, he lost weight, and looked so pathetic. This continued for more than 2 months. Then he got better. Slowly when he was regaining his usual self, he again fell sick. Now its been almost 6 months... Its just cold, cough and fever that is bothering. But it keeps recurring.

After a week of cold and cough, he is just getting better. I have never seen him crying so much. He suffered more this time. It was disheartening to listen him breathing so heavily. It was so pathetic to see him without much energy. It was horrible to hear him moan during his sleep. I am sure this one week of 'less/no proper intake' must have brought down his weight too.

This suddenly made me think if I am taking proper care of him. I am running around and raising him with a strong belief that the almighty is taking care. But then, from my part, I just wondered if I am doing my best to take good care of him.

Yes, sometimes I get very tired with him and I might be slipping here and there. But I just hope that I give everything good to this God sent child. He has bought happiness to our families. Oh God! Please give me mental and physical strength to raise this child! I love you my son!

An exciting package

2011-11-28T11:12:00.003+05:30

He does not allow me to do any work nowadays. A continuous 'amma amma' keeps ringing in my ears. His afternoon nap has come down to 1/2 hour these days and ofcourse that 1/2 hour is possible if there is pin drop silence. That is the time I get to eat and prepare for his next meal..

Can't believe that a 18 month old can be a package of fun, laughter, stubbornness, anger, charm, all at once.

The meal time is always an examination for me! As soon as he understands that I am preparing food for him, he comes to the living room and sits next to the laptop, with his finger on his mouth and making a jerky movement. This means, that I have to open the laptop and play his rhymes and the jerky movement was initially to denote a train. But now, he does that to denote rhymes in general. I did not want to cultivate the habit of seeing a TV or laptop while eating but then I had no choice. About a month back, this habit started. Initially he was highly excited and the food would go inside in no time. Slowly his interest has reduced and now he has just 2 or 3 mouth full after I play nearly 20 rhymes. But his habit of sitting in front of the laptop has not stopped.

He is sometimes aggressive. He bangs his head, raises his hand at others or throws whatever he gets in his hand, here and there. Not that he is adamant in getting what he wants. When he demands something, and if that is not good to him, 99 % of the times I can divert his attention to something else. He still carries that innocence in him. But when you dont listen to what he says, he gets highly irritated. This aggressive behaviour is seen even when he is extremely happy about something.

I have raised him alone mostly. All along I am used to not being able to do any household work until he goes to sleep in the night. But now it is unfortunately getting worse. Previously he just used to cry and when I give him something exciting or lift him in my hands for a few minutes he would be OK. Atleast for 5 to 10 minutes he will allow me to do my work. But now, he does not want me to do any work even for a second. No working in laptops, no reading newspapers, no reading any books, no working in the kitchen.............I have to keep looking at him or listening to him every second. Whether he laughs, bangs, crawls, walks, runs, scribbles, watches TV, cries, whines, or do anything I have to look at him. Else I will get a call 'amma' .And this 'amma' will keep getting louder in less than a minute that I will be bound to stop what I was doing and listen to him.

Sometimes he will keep calling me, say 5 to 6 times, in less than 5 seconds, and then I look at him and ask a 'what', he would either just smile and come and sit on my lap, or just fall/lie down and give that million dollar smile. I dont know.. may be he forgets what he wanted to convey to me within that few seconds, or that he was actually calling me purposelessly.

He plays with clothes. After getting 12 teeth, he is having teething problem. First thing he does, he stuffs the cloth in his mouth and I have a tough time pulling it out. Sometimes, he would sit and keep putting the cloth over his face and remove it. He keeps doing it on and on. From a distance, it would look very funny. I would think, 'pity him, he is playing alone'. I would then say, 'Raghav kanum' (peekaboo). He would get all the more excited and stop playing it and throw the cloth away.

Thus my time is passing on..............

Lesson for the day!

2011-11-24T13:00:00.003+05:30

As much as the time seemed to move slow when Raghav was inside my womb, so much the time is flying after he came out. (sorry if i have made an usage error here)

I dont know how much I have cherished the days so far with him. Yesterday I was just going through his old photos and videos and felt I have missed recording a lot of things. Unfortunately, I have been managing him alone mostly. Hence feeding and putting him to sleep and making sure he is keeping good health has taken most of my time. Not that I did not enjoy, but just felt I have missed seeing him grow.

Today he is starting his 18th month. And PHEW! SUDDENLY I am seeing so many changes in him. Today morning, he got up calling me 'amma' amma'! It is not the usual sleepy with a whining 'amma'. It was a very bold 'amma'. I was surprised and when I ran to the bedroom, he was there smiling and looking out for me!

After a while, HK took out a story book and started reading him the story. He listened to him so intently and talked in his own language about everything he saw in that book. I have tried reading him story when he was around 1 year but at that time, he was not responding to it so well. So i left it at that point. When he was responding today so well, I thought how stupid of me not to have tried again in the last 5 months. He is growing up so fast and I am not keeping up with his speed I guess. It might be true too.

Lot of times when I go out shopping I would see a particular thing, especially toy and think that it might be too advanced for him. But the next time, in a few days, when I see the same toy, he would have outgrown. That is how his curiosity is these days.

Yesterday someone told me that only till 5 years the children can enjoy the pampering and that it is important not to be strict and give them all the space. This might be true. But I felt that there is another side to this. He is now learning about everything he sees. He has already picked up a lot of habits from me and HK. Most of them I have really 'taught' him. Just like that, when I explain, when we talk, it has registered in his mind. Without much stress, without much forcing (like what would happen during his schooling) he has learnt. So is not this stage more important to me to make him know about as much as he could? I told myself today: "Buck up! and keep up with him. But dont miss GROWING up with him and cherishing each and every moment.

For the second time

2011-11-09T21:16:00.002+05:30

It is an arduous task to put Raghav to sleep most of the times. There should be pin drop silence. Often times after I put him to sleep, I dont do anything at home for the fear of waking him up. After an hour or so I slowly finish my kitchen and other household work. So I keep telling Hari that regardless of whether Raghav sleeps or not, I am unable to do any work at home.

Anyway, today I took him for a small walk around our apartment. When we came back at 6:30 PM, I gave him milk to drink, but he did not even take a sip. So around 7:15 pm, I sat with curd rice with him. Actually of all the other things, he feels comfortable with curd rice. But of late, he has been testing my patience to eat or drink anything. Not even biscuits.......

He normally watches the rhymes that I have in my laptop while eating. That is when his concentration is not in food. So I literally dump his mouth nowadays. But he has his own likes and dislikes with the rhymes. So when he does not want a particular rhyme, he shakes his hand meaning 'I dont want it, go to next one'.

Today for some reason, he started yawning as soon as he had his first mouth. My heart started racing. It is next to impossible to feed him anything when he starts feeling sleepy. I was hoping to dump as much as I could... His eyes were closing, he had two more mouthful. He started shaking his hand for every rhyme. I kept going to next and next. He lifted his leg towards me. It means that I have to massage his toes. When he gets his legs dirty, he will still lie down on me and lift his leg. But his face will be "ashta konal". So I can easily differentiate.

He was probably tired of walking I thought. So I started pressing his toes gently. I was still trying to make him eat. But he went to sleep, still shaking his hand and lifting his both legs alternately towards my face. It was a serene and gentle scene. One side I was worried that he was going to sleep empty stomach but other side, to see him entering a deep sleep calmly was so wonderful. This is the second time in his 16 months that he has gone to sleep out of tiredness and lying down on my lap. I dont think I will ever forget that scene. God bless.

Just happened

2011-11-08T19:45:00.002+05:30

Just happened to see a school van coming to drop the kids home in the evening when I took Raghav for a short walking...

The parents were so eagerly waiting and so were the kids. When the van was just about to stop at our apartment gate, I saw some parents

- waving to their kids so fiercely

- looking eagerly inside the van

- shouting a 'hi'

- bending their heads and looking inside the van and smiling

The waving part reminded me of seeing off my brother at the airport. He is really the only person whom I have gone to see off. Sadness, happiness, expectations, pride everything filled my mind together at that time.

Next thing that came to my mind was that how would I be wait for Raghav when he starts attending his school. Especially, the first day will be filled with sadness, happiness, expectations and pride I guess.

My kiddo is already nearing his play-school going stage. Not that I am eagerly waiting for him to go to school because I am enjoying my time with him and so is he.... (I really hope so the second part) But atleast he is not bothered by homework, tests, etc for now.

Just because

2011-11-04T08:14:00.002+05:30

I love my son because

-he is straightforward

He shows his likes, dislikes, fear, happiness, dejection, etc. straight on my face. If he does not like doing something, he conveys it clear and concise. There is no going back on it. If he is angry, he will show it by banging his head on the wall, floor, or whatever. Yes, this habit does bother me a lot. But it does give me a clear indication from his side "I have had enough, u better change your course of action".

-he is funny

His actions are sometimes so funny that in our hectic and tension full life, it acts as a great stress buster. For example

* His tantrums to eat food tires me out like hell. Now he has got into a new habit. Whenever I bring food from the kitchen, he runs and so called hides in a room. At the same time when he wants something to be done by me, he comes to me, holds that object right in front of my eyes and he turns his head off from me.

* When he wakes up half way through his sleep, he points to some object and utter 'ooooo' or 'hmmmmm' and then goes back to sleep still pointing his finger to that object.

-he is inquisitive

He wants to know about each and every thing. As a child, I would expect him to enjoy the sound/light from a toy. But he is interested in knowing the operation of that toy and till he understands in his own way what makes that sound or light he stays restless. I wonder what and how he understands the operations of different toys.

-he has good observation skill

Just one time if he watches it is enough for him to pick up the action. He knows what his father does after his bathe. He knows when I should be called to type in password in the laptop. He knows what me and our flower selling person would do every evening when she comes to our house. He knows that I would wear my slippers as soon as I get out of the main door. Sometimes he goes to the extent of rushing out and giving my slippers in my hand. Duh!!!

-he is highly disciplined

Yes for his age...... If I leave any cupboard half open, first thing he will do is rush to it and close it. He pulls it again to check if its closed properly. (We have put extra magnets in all the cupboards for him not to play with the doors) He wants the slippers to go inside the cupboard as soon as we enter the house. He wants the bed to be done after he wakes up. If food spills when he eats, he wants it to be cleaned immediately before continuing eating.

With all this, he has the innocence of a 16 months old child. He stills believes in 'ka ka ooosh', 'kana pochu' kinda stuff. Right in front of his eyes, things can be hidden sometimes. And for this his reaction would be either a hand movement saying 'kanum' or a 'woosh' and going backward angrily.

Very soon many of his behaviours might change. Some might prove a problem for both me and him in future. But I just love the way he is right now. That 10 kg positive energy keeps us all going.......

Well, I am still surprised/shocked....

2011-10-16T18:12:00.002+05:30

For the past few days, Raghav has been quite uncomfortable sitting with me when HK rides the two wheeler. One day, as soon as HK started the vehicle, Raghav started tapping the front part of the vehicle. Well we have a scooty Pep +. SO HK lifted him and made him stand in the front.

As the vehicle started, I thought he will be quite scared and will automatically get down. But he was not such a dumbo. His face beamed with such a big smile as the vehicle moved. So I told HK, "well, go till the apartment entrance and then I will take him back". But Raghav had other plans. He made that day as his first to start standing in the front whenever HK took the vehicle out. Now even if he feels sleepy, or sleeps while driving, he wants to stand in the front and sleep.

It might have been a great day for him. But my heart was racing. My eyes were constantly on him. Considering the Chennai traffic, I kept praying that the pollution does not affect him. Now he is able to get on the vehicle on his own and get down on his own. I am sure he must feel very proud standing in the front like a king. God bless him!

His smart tactics

2011-10-11T20:01:00.002+05:30

It is now 10 days since he had food properly. It does not seem to be any physical health problem. I was told that he is just playful and it happens with all the kids.

The tactics he follows to avoid food (includes water, milk, and solid food)

1. How a magnet attracts items, just that this guy's mouth repels my food. As soon as my hand nears his mouth, he will turn right or left by 45 degrees.

2. He nods or rather shakes vigorously that makes me think he is going to end up with a bad sprain.

3. He lies down on my lap. He closes his mouth with his right hand and keeps his left hand over his right. He does not stop there. He gives a sarcastic smile.

4. He lies down on my lap. When I bring food near his mouth, he suddenly bounces with the strength of his legs and get hit on his head. I am sure it would hurt. But he does not bother. All he wants is "NO FOOD".

On set go!!!!

2011-10-02T23:24:00.003+05:30

I have never seen his feet getting dirty. At least not till two weeks back. But now his walking/running/jumping constantly makes his feet dirty. Yes, my kiddo is all set to run, run and run.

He did it again!

2011-09-21T21:38:00.003+05:30

Today morning, I was mentally and physically down. So many things were bothering me and I just wanted to cry out so that I would feel better. HK decided to leave me alone so he dressed up Raghav and planned to take him for a walk. As he was just going out, he consoled me and told Raghav, 'amma pavam! romba mudiyala ammavuku, oru muttha kodu'. (Amma is not feeling Ok, give her a kiss).

P.N. It is a herculean task to get a kiss from Raghav. It is a very rare and privileged opportunity for both of us and for his grandparents. Need not talk about others.

But today I dont know what he understood. As soon as HK let him sit on my lap, he looked at me and kissed me. He then went back to HK and flashed a smile at me. It lifted up my spirits. I was back to normal that very second. God bless him!

On an afternoon...

2011-09-20T11:37:00.003+05:30

Raghav has started understanding our small instructions/requests/warnings. One day while he was playing, he came and sat on my lap suddenly and kept looking at me. I was busy reading the newspaper. I flashed a smile at him and continued reading. He suddenly got up and moved my face closer to his. Before I could think what he was doing, he banged his head on mine (pretty hard) and kissed on my cheek. My head was still hurting but I could not help feeling ecstatic. This is the first kiss from him.

When we pamper him or do a baby talk, his reactions can be categorized into two. Either he will sit silently and still, with a very small smile or he will push us and bang or slap our face hard.

To be noted: HK is the first person to get a kiss from him. People say that babies first say 'amma' and then only 'appa' comes. But with Raghav it was/is reverse. He first started calling out 'appa'. Even now to address me he just says 'Hey' or something similar to that. Only when he cries 'amma' comes out. But 'appa' comes out so frequently.

And he ran...

2011-09-11T21:18:00.004+05:30

The child who was walking slowly holding my finger suddenly started to run today.j,....

As usual once I reached the children's play area I put him down and was showing the slide to him. He enjoys sliding in it, ofcourse with my help. But he turned away and started walking in the sand slowly without holding me. The he reached the pathway and started running. Probably he got excited by his own speed, he started running faster with a smile.

He reached out to the plants on either sides. He was shaking both his hands as if trying to make a point. Or rather, just like how an orchestra conductor will do. He actually fell down flat once. But he never bothered. Once he reached the driveway, which is not very smooth, I lifted him up. He was not so happy about it. So I took him near our swimming pool. Many kids were enjoying there. This guy started shaking his hands again imitating their hand strokes. As such he loves playing with water and this excited him more. I decided it was not the right place to keep him. So I carried him and came back home with a sense of happiness and concern. Happiness because my once a baby has started to run today. Concern: How am I going to keep up with his speed?

A proud moment

2011-08-29T21:28:00.002+05:30

Nowadays I make my kid walk for a few minutes during his 'evening park' time. Atleast I try to. So I put his shoes on. Normally he used to throw tantrums to wear his shoes, but today he was quiet.

As I put him down to lock our apartment door, he stood quietly watching what I was doing. I locked the door and gave my finger. He willingly caught hold of my finger. I was little surprised. Normally he forces me to carry him.

I then walked with him towards the lift. He pointed his finger to the door and gave a 'oooo' sound. This meant that I have to open the door for him. After he went inside the elevator, he got excited. Probably this was the first time, he is standing inside the lift. He then kept looking between me and the buttons. I pressed the button and it started moving down. I thought he might get a little scared of the movement or lose his balance. But he turned towards one side and caught hold of the side walls of the lift. Smart boy I thought.

He got out of the lift and was ready to hold my finger again. He started walking and soon we were moving towards the park of our apartment. I don't know why, but suddenly I felt so proud. He has got to a stage where carrying him continuously tires me out. So I normally get tired within a few minutes of going to the park. My face shows the tiredness very well. But today, my boy was walking alongside me. He was no more a baby now. I even saw a few people staring/admiring/looking/watching this chap. He swiftly walked towards the children's play area and started pointing towards the swing and slide. Wow! I thought. Yet another unforgettable day.

P.S. Today I wrote another blog with many 'first ones' of our kiddo. I am clueless...I dont see the blog at all. I spent 30 minutes writing it. Normally it autosaves when we write. But even after clicking 'Publish Post' I dont know why I lost it. Blogger! Can you reason this out?

Phew! What a month!

2011-08-08T14:37:00.003+05:30

Just as our prince, HR, was going to turn one, he got sick. On his birthday, he woke up with a running nose and slight temperature. I thought he would get better in a day or two. But the worse had just begun. One thing or the other kept bothering him, for a month. We frequented doctors and temples.

Kids' ill-health can drain your energy to a great level. We realized that this time when our kiddo fell sick. Sleepless nights, 'no' to food, continuous crying, .... Thankfully with God's grace he has got better now.

Surprisingly, after his sickness we are seeing a lot of positive changes in his physical and mental growth. He is taking 9 to 10 steps on his own now :) He can understand small sentences, recognizing more objects, got more adamant :(. His smile, and laugh has changed so much that it reminds me he is no more a baby but a toddler. His words have modulation now. His reaction to my anger and happiness has changed drastically. He knows how to impress us to get things done in the way he likes.

Yes kiddo! Here I come to tackle your ever growing curiosity and mischief.

A quick update

2011-06-22T22:01:00.002+05:30

Days just flew!!!! And my kiddo who was once constrained to a small mat is now on his own!!! Trying to walk, and jump. He observes every small thing. He does what me and HK do. It is adorable and at the same time, I worry that he should not see something which he should not.

He wants to experiments with everything. His toys are no more just an entertainment for him. If he sees his car running or his moving or a toy that makes some noise, he wants, how, where and what.

He loves dogs, cats, cows, goats, crows, pigeons, ... you name it. When I take him for an evening walk, he wants me to run behind all these while carrying him :(

Though words have not come out of his mouth, yet he conveys his thoughts very well. By his voice modulation, you can pretty much understand what he is trying to convey.

These are a few things that came on top of my head. Signing off....

What I would have missed?

2011-05-18T18:06:00.002+05:30

Me and HK argued and discussed a lot when I decided to leave my job to make myself healthy to become a mother. It was a very hard decision for me too, personally, mentally and financially. Now when I thought what I would have missed if I had not left my job, these things came to my mind:

1. The priceless morning sleepy smile my 11 month old ( flashes

2. The cat stretch that he does to get ready for his morning mischief

3. The help that he does for me in the kitchen, by just making sure that things are not in their usual/should be position and place

4. The first time he uttered 'ma'

5. The first time he uttered 'appa' (when I called up HK to tell this, he returned home immediately leaving his work and begged the kiddo to utter it again, with no luck )

6. The first time he tried to eat on his own

7. His first crawl

8. The first time he tried to stand with help

9. His whining

10. His afternoon restless nap (I put him to sleep and say after 15 minutes I will see him sitting in one corner of the mat, scratching his hair and ears. He wants me to be near him when he sleeps)

11. His afternoon waking up style (Once he gets a sound sleep which is for an hour in the afternoon, he will suddenly get up startled. I would compare his waking up style to this: You put the alarm at 4 AM on the day of your college exam and you get up at 8 AM. What would be your expression when you see the clock?)

12. His attempt to lift and bite his toe while sitting and falling flat on his back

13. His blabberings

14. His excitement while seeing a dog or a crow

15. His new habit of closing his eyes tight and giving a smile for no reason at all

16. His first break of anger (He showed his frustration by banging a vessel on the floor)

17. His attempt to spoil my cooking (I dont know why. But he comes and holds my legs tight when I cannot afford to take my eyes away from what I am cooking in the kitchen. And you know the rest of the story)

18. His first giggle (I was surprised when a meaningless act of mine brought out such a loud giggle from my kiddo when he was 6 month old)

19. His soft breathing when he sleeps

20. His lovely look (One day suddenly he looked deep into my eyes for a few seconds, when I was holding him. I will not forget that look. Even now it gives me goosebumps)

21. Sending videos and photos of my kiddo to my brother who has gone abroad to pursue his studies.

Well I could go on. I thank God for making me a Mother and gifting me such a great wonder of His. I thank HK for encouraging me to stay at home and enjoy my kiddo's childhood. He said 'Even if you earn million dollars, you and I won't get the happiness that the 4 1/2 teeth's smile gives'

Blessing!

2011-05-09T10:10:00.002+05:30

Yesterday for the first time my 11 month old kiddo uttered 'ma'. And yesterday was 'Mother's day'! What a great blessing God has showered on me!

Today in his sleep

2011-05-03T20:02:00.002+05:30

My kiddo's afternoon nap continued for more than 2 hours today, which was unusual. One hour sleep is just too much for him. I was starting to get concerned, because he has been suffering from cold for the past 4 days. So I just sat next to him, to make sure he is OK. I was listening to soft breathing sound of his and admired the way his small tummy went up and down.

I was starting to feel sleepy too. So I lied down next to him and was watching him intensely. Suddenly his eyelids started to flutter. He opened his eyes half way, no, not even half way. I would say between a quarter and half and smiled at me that showed his 3 3/4 teeth. He did not stop there, he brought his right palm to my face and patted my cheek. He then went back to his lovely sleep.

I was wonder struck. I don't even understand why and how he did that. But then my happiness knew no bounds. I remembered one of MLTR's songs, "The sleeping child".

Something missing

2011-04-28T21:04:00.003+05:30

When I was in school, I used to wait for an occasion for my mother to buy me a new dress. The occasions were very few, Diwali, My Birthday, Pongal and that is all I could remember. I used to wait with more anticipation to wear that new dress to the school and show it to my friends. I had just two 'Pattu pavadais' and one grand 'gagra choli'. By default, these are the dresses I wear to any wedding I am taken to. Don't even think I am complaining. I sincerely miss those days.

Now, I dont look for any particular reason or occasion to buy a new dress. I see if the dress is worth the money I am putting in, but many times I dont think if I really need it. Come any wedding or function, there are so many dresses to choose from. But for some reason I am not getting the happiness that I got when I had two 'pattu pavadai' and one 'gagra choli'. Why?

There was time when my parents used to break their heads over Rs. 10 that was falling short during their income expenditure tallying. They used to carefully save money for festivals and functions so that they could buy things for their home, especially their children. It was always a budgeted purchase. But they were content and happy.

Now Rs. 10???? ( I have failed miserably in maintaining home income expenditure account, due to credit card purchases, ATM withdrawals, and online transfers. ) Even though I could spend a few thousands without worrying, I dont think I am getting the contentment that my parents got. Why?

The more we earn the more we spend. But it seems to be that something is missing. Oh My! What I actually wanted to write? I think it is just that I am missing those days.

That one smile

2011-04-22T21:35:00.003+05:30

After my day's work, I was putting my kiddo to sleep. When he sleeps, there should be pin drop silence. He was just going to sleep and I laid down next to him so that he will be more comfortable. I thought he slept, but suddenly he turned and laid down on his stomach. He raised his head half asleep. His face shone like a moon in that dark room. With his eyes half closed he gave a smile that showed his 3 1/2 teeth.

What can equal this smile that God gifted me and HK with? In spite of being really tired I got up, put him on my lap, kissed him, thanked God and started the long process again.

Request

2011-04-19T21:50:00.002+05:30

We don't have a TV in our house. Yes you read it right! You might think of many reasons of why we don't have a TV. But our answer is simple. Me and HK never really felt the need of it. Period.

I sometimes check the music shows' videos online. Of late programs (read: kids' music and dance programs) are shown in every TV channel. We have to accept the talent in them. The kids are just amazing.

But the cine songs that are sung, often have lyrics which the kids might not even understand. And they sing it right in front of lakhs and lakhs of people. Are the parents happy about this? I am not too sure. Who is to be blamed here? When the kids grow up to be decent adults, ya, DECENT adults, won't they feel bad about singing such songs? You might ask me how do the actual singers feel then. Well, I don't know.

You might think why am I even thinking in these lines. But this thought just struck me. The lyricists out there! Please give us decent lyrics even when you have express love, and romance for the directors. Our kids are unbelievable singers. Just give them songs to sing which they will proud of later. Please!

A lesson

2011-04-16T22:55:00.002+05:30

After a tiring day, I was putting my 10 month old kiddo to sleep. The guy was half asleep and so I was hoping that another 5 minutes will take him to a deep sleep state. But no! Suddenly he woke up and stood on my lap holding me. He pulled something that was behind me and that was my handbag. His face suddenly brightened having got hold of it. He tried to pull it but then I did not want him to do that and get more excited. It was after all his sleeping time. So I put him back on my lap. For a second, he felt cheated/dejected. I am unable to place his expression in a particular category.

Just to make him happy, I made a funny sound and started to clap his hands. He enjoys that. That beaming smile came back to his face.

I wondered how soon he got back his happiness. I wish life was so simple for me too. Happiness and sadness alternate each other in everyone's lives. Nothing is permanent. As someone rightly put it 'Change is the only constant thing in life'. If I could also bounce back from sadness or worry this soon, my life would be great.

Life has changed so much

2011-03-30T11:49:00.003+05:30

Yes! With a 10 month old around, especially as I am managing alone, life has suddenly become so energetic and cheerful. You might wonder why I am not using the words "tired". He does drain me out sometimes. But his non stop curiosity is keeping me n HK so lively these days.

He still creeps. For some reason he has decided against crawling around. He is already on his way to hold things, get up and stand on his own legs. And you should see the pride on his face when he does that.

Poor guy! He does not understand that he will fall down if he does not hold. So, often he falls flat on the floor. Especially with his 'mottai mandai' it is a little scary. God's grace, so far he has not hurt himself too much during his new endeavor.

I pity the (black) ants around my house. The line they form attracts my kiddo so much. Sometimes he just lies on his stomach and enjoys the busy ants. But other times, he bangs on them. The shocked ants break the line and try to escape the further banging from this 10 month old. I think the black ants pass on this info to red ants. Because when this kiddo sleeps he gets bitten up by a red ant. Tit for tat!!!

His latest attraction is the Tabla that I gifted HK for his bday this year! I dont know from where in the world this kiddo learnt, but he bangs them both alternately, with exactly same interval. He has not seen HK playing Tabla. So I wonder who taught him this.

He has always enjoyed his bath time and so we bought him a tub last month. He loves playing in it. But it has become a tough task for me to bathe him properly and especially end the bath time.

If he sees a few drops of water on the floor, he bangs on them and rubs it like crazy. Finally he makes sure the floor is dry. But for some reason, he makes such a scene to drink water.

All his toys are neatly lying in one corner of the house. Kitchen vessels, HK's office bag, wires, papers are his favourite toys. So thousands and thousands of rupees looks like an utter waste unfortunately :( This reminds me... They dont bother whether you spend thousand or ten rupees, all they want is whatever you give them should excite them. How sweet! We grown ups dont do that. If we receive something as a gift, mostly the first thought that would come to our mind "how much this would be?"

Well, thats just a brief up! I have always failed in the attempt of blogging regularly. Well, the reason is obvious. I want to write so much about him, but then "Mommy! here I come"

Quick update

2011-02-08T22:49:00.003+05:30

I have been doing my best to blog regularly. But somehow it is not working....

My son is keeping me very busy these days. He has started moving around and it is becoming difficult to compete with his curiosity.

He wants to hold, and taste everything. He takes things in his hand, observes, shrinks his forehead and remains silent for a few seconds. I wonder about what is he thinking so hard. Showing tantrums when he gets sleep is still on, but the duration has considerably reduced.

Yesterday while shopping

2010-12-20T15:51:00.004+05:30

Y'day I was in a nearby grocery store for a 'weekend shopping'. Just when I was about to pick a pack of Basmati rice, I heard a loud scream. I turned towards the direction of the sound and found a boy of 14 or 15 come running to his mother, crying, and hitting her. First thought, 'Why is this guy creating such a scene in a fully packed store, and that too hitting his mother'? I was just a few feet away from them. Believe me, from a distance, the boy looked normal and he was a little hefty for his height too. But on a closer look, I found the boy was mentally challenged.

My attention turned towards his mother and unfortunately she looked right into my eyes. She then flashed a smile and I returned hers. I guess the boy wanted something and he did not get it. His mother was extremely patient when he was hitting her, and continued having that smile on her face. She was silently consoling him inspite of the fact that the whole store's attention was on them.

I was amazed at her patience. I have worked with a few mentally or physically challenged children and can realize how challenging their lives are and how difficult it is for their parents to manage them. Soon she was joined by the boy's father and elder brother. All the three talked, hugged and cuddled that boy. Still he did not stop crying (read: screaming). By that time, I finished shopping and came out of the shop wondering when he would be convinced by his family members.

Bless the child, bless the family, bless their health, wealth and patience.

iHome at home

2010-12-18T23:52:00.004+05:30

For the past few days, our home was without any music. The music system suddenly stopped for some reason and we did not have time to repair it. Then I searched my cupboards and brought out my old CD player and found I did not have any batteries or adapter. Finally today HK took time out and got in place the new iHome which was stuffed inside for 4 long years. What a relief it was to hear to music (again) while working?

During my college days, I remember listening to some kind of music while studying. Many people have asked how it is possible, but thats how I was. I feel I concentrate more while some kind of music keeps going on in the background. Filmi, instrumental or classical music calms me down.

I am not a professional singer but also not a poor singer. HK is equally interested in music and have been frantically learning keyboard on his own. Our kiddo is also showing interest in music....Lets see what area he is exploring.

I realized

2010-12-15T21:35:00.003+05:30

I realized the greatness of my mother when I became a mother myself. Today when my 5 month old kiddo was playing, he suddenly stopped and showed the expression as if to say "I am bored". Within 2 seconds he smiled and started to play, then within a few seconds the "boring" expression came in again. Then he started to whine and as soon as I lifted him that adorable smile came. As a 5 month old, he just showed his feelings and did not mind about others. Wonder what this has got to do with my mother?

I just thought about my present state for a moment. With a 5 month old at home, I cannot afford to waste even a minute. I have to plan and execute every activity at home with great care (You might think I am talking as if I am a PM in a big corporate, but ). I go to bed thinking what to cook for the next day. I get up with a worry if I would be able to send HK office on time. Every month, one or the other household items need to be repaired, and I need to call endlessly the service person. Keep the home clean and hygienic. Need to keep in touch with friends/relatives. The list goes on. I am not complaining. I have a great husband and with a lovable child now, me and HK feel complete.

But then, my thoughts went back to my childhood days. I used to walk to my school with my mother's hand, not bothering about traffic, and people, because my mother was holding me tight. I did not care about the weather, because my mother made sure I was dressed appropriately. I even did not worry about homework/tests because my mother sat with me and made sure I completed everything and scored well in exams. I did not bother what the time is when I played with my friends, because my mother called me back at the right time.

I still remember the days when I walked beside her, with excitement, to buy dress for Diwali or birthday. She always bought the best for me and my brother. Till date, she is the only person who calls me first on my birthday/wedding anniversary and asks, if I have a new dress to wear, and if I made some sweet at home.

With my father spending long hours at work, my mother took care of everything at home. Be it hospital visits or school visits, she managed to take leave from work and attend us. Oh I forgot! She is a teacher by profession and still in service. Even 4 years back when I was bedridden after a leg surgery, she did everything what she did when I was less than a year old.

I have never seen her sit idle. She always keeps herself engaged. Now she is nearing 60 and has become weak. But even now when I visit her, she does not let me do anything, and when she visits us, never comes empty handed. She always makes and brings sweets/snacks.

For a moment I thought, "Will I never get that carefree days with my parents"? I am not trying to escape from my current duties and responsibilities. The memories brought both a tear and a smile on my face. Even though I am away from my parents, just thinking about them gives courage, strength and encouragement.

Believe me! For a few seconds, my son was just looking at my face when I was thinking about my mother. Then he smiled again. I silently prayed to God that my son should have a great mother just like me and my brother have.

Hail the lord who created 'Mothers'.

And how true it is!

2010-12-03T17:06:00.003+05:30

"Thaimai adaindhapin oru pen muzhumai adaigiral" I did not understand the meaning of these words, till my 5 month old son looked into my eyes today morning and smiled adorably.

Having got a baby after 8 years of marriage, life has changed unimaginably. At least so far, no more steaming coffees in the morning, no quiet/relaxed dinner / lunch with HK, no time to think about myself, no catching up with friends through emails/phone, more financial planning, a worry deep inside the mind if his height & weight are correct for his age, and it goes on. Wait! Don't get me wrong.....I am not yet done. This big list disappeared when he looked at me today morning and I suddenly felt that my life is complete.

I am not saying that every married woman should have a child soon after marriage. In fact it is wise for a couple to spend more time with each other before having a child. Because after getting a child, as I said before, you only have time to say a 'hello', at least so far it has been like that. So it takes a lot of understanding to make each other feel the love and affection without actually spending time. Oh! Where this is leading to?

Just wanted to reinstate that I forgot the whole world when my kiddo looked into my eyes and smiled for a few seconds. Bless him!

Whats up?

2010-12-02T18:51:00.003+05:30

Well here I am! Blogging after 6 months! Though I have not been so regular in writing before, yet this time, I have a reason for the delay. My son who is in his sixth month!

It has been a great time so far. Till his 3rd month, my work has been to make sure he does not cry. And that means either feeding or putting him to sleep. But from his 4th month, he needed time and person to engage him and play with him. And that was not an easy task!

Me and HK googled our way to find out different activities to engage him. And at every stage, he wanted 'more' to keep him occupied. We just hope we keep upto his expectations. This is just a short note on what has been happening, I will come back with more! I am pretty sure that hereafter most of my blogs are going to be about the 'mischievous chap', who has brought happiness in our lives. Bless him!

A news article that disturbed me...

2010-06-08T09:08:00.001+05:30

In today's morning newspaper, I read that two persons lost their hands when the MTC bus they were travelling was hit by a speeding vehicle. This might be a common news, but the way one of the victims has expressed the incident shook me a little. According to the victim, "I was sitting by the window and suddenly a vehicle coming from the opposite side hit the bus. Only when I moved my hand I realized that my hand was gone".

This disturbed me for two reasons. One, the incident took place in the bus route that I have used so regularly during my school days. Two, I see so many children and adults keeping their heads and arms outside the windows, while travelling in buses and trains, everyday. And I dont need to talk about the youngsters hanging on the footboards, even while there is place inside the vehicles.

It seems the driver and conductor of the bus were arrested following this incident. I dont have a clue why they were arrested. Anyone who has used MTC buses regularly in Chennai would have heard the language the conductors use to make the people in the footboards to either come inside the bus or take the next bus. Most of the times, I completely agree with the conductor's shouting minus his filthy language. And I dont understand what the driver could have done to avoid this incident, in the peak hour traffic. Ofcourse, there is one point here that has been explained in the newspaper.... who crossed the yellow line? If the MTC bus drier has done so, yes, he is on the wrong side.

Let us as a public take that little step to avoid these kinds of incidents. Whenever you see a passenger, especially children, putting his/her head or arms outside the window, dont mind telling them to avoid doing so. Some might not listen, but dont bother, atleast you will have the satisfaction that you are doing the right thing.

What the heck is education for?

2010-04-27T20:12:00.002+05:30

For some reason, for the past few days I am cursing the public (Yes! Yes! that includes me and my dear ones too).

A week back I was sitting in a car stuck in the traffic and Chennai's mid day heat. At a distance, I heard the emergency signal of an ambulance. There was a patient and an anxious family of three. I pitied them and wondered how they are going to pass this traffic and reach the hospital. I silently prayed to God for a miracle.

The sound of the ambulance was nearing and I poured my appreciation on the driver for his skillful driving. Finally the ambulance was right next to our car. Fortunately our car was not its way. There were innumerable bikes in the junction, two cars and also two carts carrying water cans. I am not sure if cart is the right word. I mean the one with open space in the front and a cycle kind of thing at the back.

Most of the bikes were driven by people working in IT companies. Yes I could clearly see their name tags from where I was. OK! I may not know the company. But take it as 'highly educated' / 'literates'. The persons with carts ofcourse were the uneducated ones. As the ambulance neared the junction the men with the carts tried to move to the sides and leave way for the ambulance. Believe me, the 'educated' stood right there with the bikes, not bothering the sound and horn of the ambulance. The red signal was going to be there (for our side of the traffic) at least for a minute as the seconds displayed. But the 'educated' did not make a least attempt to give way for the ambulance.

The sight that followed took me aback. The men with carts got down and requested the people in bikes and cars to move to the sides. They literally played the role of a traffic police. A few 'educated' moved but others just stood there. I agree that everyone is busy and that everyone is standing in the mid day heat, but is a life not worth more than their time and sweat? What the heck did our education teach us? Even if a traffic police would have been there, I am sure these 'educated' people would have still not given way to the ambulance. I continued my prayers for the patient inside the ambulance. Finally only after the signal turned green, the ambulance was able to cross that junction. Had the patient been the 'educated''s relative or friend, would they have behaved the same way?

Since that day, some questions kept popping in my mind...

1. Why do we need traffic police inspite of having signals in the junction?
2. Why do people jump traffic signals if a traffic police is not there?
3. Why do people throw trash on the roads, even when some people come to their doorstep to collect trash?
4. Why do people spit on the walls of railway stations, trains, bus stops, etc.?
5. Are students in schools not taught about humanity, cleanliness, discipline, etc?
6. If the public is not doing their bit for the society, what can the government do?

I accept that there are some government officials who are selfish, cruel and what not. But is it not our duty too to help our fellow men? If the education does not teach us to value others' life, then, what the heck is it for? What is the meaning of the word 'educated'? Is it just sitting in front of computer in air conditioned rooms typing endlessly, attending lavish parties, and waiting for onsite opportunities?

Time to relax

2010-04-16T09:38:00.004+05:30

Continuing from my previous post....

Things are getting back to normal slowly. After having two full weeks of things not working properly, the past two days have been little relaxing, without any major 'breakdowns' or 'mishaps'. Ofcourse the refrigerator is still not working properly, and you can imagine how it is to be without a refrigerator this time of the year in Chennai. But we have decided to buy a new one, so it is not bothering me much now.

Having seen 5 to 6 different service men in the past two weeks, some thoughts I would like to share:

1. No one is punctual. Yes! Ranging from a leading computer company to a local repair shop, no one even thinks about keeping their time. It might not sound new as the term 'Indian punctuality' is famous everywhere. I sincerely dont know from where this originated, because I definitely dont think our leaders were not punctual. So the very term irritates me and if you are wondering, how am I, I am conscious about time. Especially, when it involves other person(s) I strive hard to be punctual and I have faced both good and bad consequences.

2. When the service man comes to your place for attending your call, and when he sees just a lady there, he takes her for a ride. Ofcourse even men are cheated sometimes. They talk about all they know and try to increase the charge as much as they can. I dont know what in the world makes them think that a woman will not know anything. And I definitely wish to see more 'service woman' just like woman bus or auto drives. Any case, it is always better to know a little about the device before you call the service person.

3. When the person says that he has to take the device to his place to repair, be double cautious. A few persons can spoil the things that are actually working well. So check with another shop to see if it is really necessary to remove the device from your place.

4. I had a very bad experience with a customer service person belonging to a leading computer company. I came to know that she is the one who co ordinates the technicians of their company. I pity them. She does not know anything about your technical problems (which is acceptable, as she is just a non technical person), she will ask questions (which is their routine) which will test your patience, she will fix a time with you to send her technician but will not know whether the call was attended by someone or not, when you pick up her call, she will take a full minute to say 'Hello' and if you ask her a question the time gets even longer, she will utter twenty 'sorry' in a two minutes call and that too you can hear her laugh with every 'sorry' (God knows for what), she will not make a single attempt to understand what you say and she does not know how much time a technician would take to resolve the customers' issue and her technicians have to keep calling the customers to tell that they will be late in coming to attend the call. I spent five days talking with her, and finally on the sixth day her technician attended the issue. The technician shared his sad story of having to deal with such a co ordinator with me. My part was better. I cursed the computer company, for having hired such a person. And oh! I forgot one more thing. I think it is compulsory for them to talk in English (wonder what they would do if a customer does not know English). On the first day, when I heard her talk, I thought she is finding it difficult to communicate in English. So on the second day, I told her 'Tamizhla pesunga'. But only then I found out that it was not a language problem. So have all the patience when you talk with a customer service person. Ya! I know it should actually be the other way.

Don't think I am focussing only on the negative side, my experience was so. And after two weeks of calls, repairs, bargains, arguments, requests, commands, I am finally relaxing. The only thing with which I am pleading right now is my Tulasi plant. It was growing just well, but suddenly it has stopped. And I am doing all I can to make it grow well. Lets see.

Time for patience

2010-04-11T11:09:00.001+05:30

For some reason, for the past two weeks, things in our house have not been working fine and this includes living and non living things.
Yes, it first started with the UPS. It was not getting charged and with the frequent power cuts I was just praying that my desktop does not get into any problem. Finally we got time to change its battery.
Next it was our laptop. Suddenly the hard disk failed and believe me we bought it just 3 months back. We had to wait for full 2 weeks for the company to send their technician and replace the hard disk. That definitely means that full 3 months work was lost. Yes, as it was new we did not even have backup.
Then it was kitchen's turn. Refrigerator stopped keeping its contents cool and my dairy products and groceries were getting rotten. I realized this only after 3 days and had to call a repairman. He said the timer that auto defrosts is not working and that I had to defrost it every week. (I dont want to change the timer for now because we are planning to buy a new one and unfortunately that is not going to happen for the next two or three months). So 'switching off the refrigerator every week' is one thing that is added to our routine now.
It was the turn of my gas stove then. Both the flames were very dull and it took double the time for me to cook. The serviceman when contacted, asked us to bring it to his shop for service. Then suddenly, my husband turned the gas stove upside down and banged on it a few times. He thought any accumulated dust will come out that way. And lo! when he lighted it again, it was working fine. Yes! Sometime weird ideas do work, but I was just too thankful to him. It was very nice of him to get resolve this problem.
Do you think the problems ended there?
Just today morning, I was sitting in the living room and the fan suddenly stopped running. I thought it was a power cut and did not bother. (I did not even realize that the tube light in the kitchen was still working fine). After a few minutes, the fan started running slowly, but again stopped. Only when I stepped into the kitchen I realized it was not power cut after all. Now it is the turn for all the ceiling related appliances. Yes, fan has to be repaired now. So here I am sitting without a fan in the living room on a Sunday afternoon. Any one currently in Chennai will know how I am feeling without a fan and being a Sunday, without a repairman to attend the issue.
Well, patience is all I need right now and nothing else. So be it!

Something missing!

2010-04-09T19:32:00.000+05:30

Had I been a school going kid, I would be enjoying my summer holidays soon. Wow! those days were fun. Getting up late (rather we used to wake up earlier than usual, as there was no going to school), catching up with friends after breakfast, lunch, tiffin and dinner in the corridors, playing cards, board games, and carrom, visists to beaches, parks with relatives/friends, learning a new art from my mother, helping my mother put 'vadams' on our terrace, never ending screaming n playing with friends in the evening without anyone to remind us that it was time to study, waiting for the exam results (it used to come by post) as if an IAS exam was written, visiting grandparents, renting books from library, the list is endless.
I am sure this will be a 'history' for kids in another 4 to 5 years. Even now the kids might not be doing more than half of the things listed above. Yes, unfortunately, the holidays have become yet another routine. Some may argue it is for good, but to me, it depends on the attitude of children, parents and others.
We can see advertisements for summer camps splashed everywhere right from Jan/Feb onwards. I even heard that we have to submit applications to the camps, as we do for schools. Huh! And parents just want their kids to learn something, whether the children actually learn or not is different. I heard from a neighbouring kid that the camps too have tests at the end of the course. The word 'summer holidays' dont bring a real enthu on the kids' faces. And how will it, when they are going to face entrance tests and final exams in the camps too? Don't get me wrong, I like and support children learning something new and becoming proficient in it during summer holidays. Because the crafts or drawing that I do now is something which I practised during holidays. But is the child's interest really taken into account is the question.
Some questions that keeps coming to my mind:
1. Is the kid really involved in taking a decision about the camps?
2. Do the parents really ask the kid how he/she wants the holidays to be spent? And with whom? And ofcourse where?
3. Is forcing the kid to go to a class correct?
4. Is the routine 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM good even in holidays?
5. Is life all about rushing, rushing and rushing?
6. Do parents/kids get real value of their money from the camps?
There must be a healthy competition among kids in every field. I accept that. But they are after all kids. You cannot keep dumping everything on them continuously. They need some rest, they greatly need change in life. Some people say that parents who are in IT field can afford and that is why they are sending their kids to these camps. But it is so not true. Even middle class families send their kids to these camps. So it is not totally about money. It is the attitude of the parents.
Parents (not all) don't think about spending time with kids. The kids don't need an extravagant holidays in the islands. It is what parents need. Kids basically need someone to spend time with. I am in IT field and I know it is not easy to take leave for the whole month and stay with kids. But I am sure there are other options.
First and foremost, RELAX and SLOW DOWN. You must be knowing what your kid is really interested in. So plan to improve that one thing during the holidays.
1. If you think camps/classes are really important, go ahead. A word of caution: let it not be a school and make sure there is no pressure on the kid. Also make sure the kid does not spend the whole day there and arrange someone to pick up and take care of the kid after the classes for a few hours.
2. Inform your boss that you cannot stretch your hours at office this one month, as your kid is your main priority. Stick to the 8 hours of working. Or if you could opt for work from home, nothing like that.
3. Every evening make sure you spend as much time as possible with your kid. You dont sit in front of computer and dont let the kid sit in front of TV. That is always there.
4. Every night have a family dinner. I mean sit together and have dinner. Share stories and have some fun. Don't just carry your plate and sit with TV.
5. Involve your kid in cooking. That way you can spend time with your child.
6. If you are in an apartment, make sure your kid goes out and plays in the evening with all other kids. (You might be surprised that nowadays it is rare to find kids playing in the evening. Children sit inside their homes and play with TV and computer). You also try playing with the kids whenever you can. I am not joking!!!
7. Teach gardening. Your child will have a growing companion. You may not be able to have big gardens, but you can still grow small plants. Make sure your child waters it and enjoys every stage of the plants' growth.
8. If you think your child's handwriting is poor, don't send him to a camp just for this. Bring back that letter writing habit. You will be amazed by the improvement of their handwriting and speed of writing.
9. During weekends, take your kid along with his/her friends to a nearby park or beach. (Involve more parents if you want). Plan some games or just have fun with all the kids.
10. Go for a morning walk with your kid. Have a casual talk. (You reduce your weight too by this)
11. Sign up for yoga or aerobic class along with your kid.
12. Teach small crafts and make your kid gift their work to other kids. It will definitely inspire the other kids.
13. If you can take some days off from your work, take your kid to a relative/friend/grandparents' place. Bring back the family get together practise. Don't go to hotels to enjoy the important occassions.
14. Teach your kid to keep the house clean, by giving small tasks. Have weekend cleaning sessions.
15. Try to calm your kid's mind by teaching meditation. It will definitely carry on even during their school days and thereby increase their concentration.

Mange to have time with your kids, that is the most important thing. Else they will be lonely, pressurized, get depressed, and .... I dont want to talk about the extremes. Let them cherish their childhood days.

Clearing

2010-04-07T14:03:00.000+05:30

Oh! the satisfaction in throwing away a small piece of paper! Wondering what?
In our almost 8 years of married life, we have changed 5 houses that invovled transporting our things across countries, and cities. The biggest advantage of this was I was able to throw or give away unwanted/unused things pretty frequently. But for the past 2 1/2 years we have been living in the same house. And fortunately time has come to move on to a new apartment in two or three months. Why I call it fortunate? For two reasons: one, we are moving into our own apartment and second time has come to clear my house.
This time I have started the process pretty early, becoz we have accumulated things for 2 1/2 years which is like double the quantity that I have faced during my previous shifting(s). It is amazing how much we accumulate as we move on? When things are put to proper use it is different, or atleast if a thing is so precious or valuable that you can pass it through generations it is OK. But the things in the cupboard range from a receipt for a Rs. 10 dairy milk bought months back or a pen that does not write.
I am a little conscious about keeping the house clean and organizing things properly. Thanks to my mother. We were brought up in a one bed room apartment. So we did not have a place to dump everything during a sudden visit of a relative or friend. Everything has to be in its own place all the time. We also had weekly routine of cleaning. That habit, I think, is deep rooted in my mind even now. But for some reason for the past one year, I have not been regular in disposing and organizing things and that is an added reason for starting my cleaning process pretty early this time.
In our busy life, we sincerely dont get time for 'clearing' so easily. A simple example, my office bag will be a mess at the end of the week. Important and useless stuff will have equal priority there. During week days I simply dump everything in there, to make sure that atleast I dont lose things. (Thanks to the small ladies handbags that come nowadays; they have place only for a purse and a mobile.) Unfortunately I am comfortbale with a pretty big bag, rather I dont like the small handbags.
If you have a computer system at home, how often do you clean it? I dont mean dusting it, but actually clearing and organizing the files. If we get into a habit of regular clearing, we will be amazed at how much space we actually have, be it handbag, drawer or computer. We can also know how much we waste by storing a few things for an indefinite period of time.
Some of the routines I thought I will start:
Weekly clearing: My handbag, refrigerator, my desk
Monthly clearing: My kitchen cupboards, cupboards attached to my desk
Bi-monthly clearning: Computer, dress closet
Yearly clearning: Lofts
I am sure I will have a lot more, but this is enough to get started. I have put on my 'clearing cap'.

Just wondering!!!!

2010-04-06T15:44:00.000+05:30

The inspiration of this blog is again my neighbour, the sweet and charming kid. Now, she has started moving freely with everyone and when she hears us opening our front door, she comes in immediately. It takes more than one hour for her mother to convince her to come back. Normally her mom bribes her or makes some false promises and take her back.

Yesterday I suddenly wondered if this is OK to do with the kid. Is there no other way to make the 5 year old kid come back? This incident might be a very small one and the promises that her mom makes may not be very serious ones. But we can see parents and other elders, making a lot of promises or scaring their kids to make them do something. Is it correct? I am in no way a child psychologist. But being an expectant mother, I am in the process of reading a lot of books on children's behaviour. And I was also gifted to move with a lot of kids - new born to 5 year olds.

Recently I read an article on Fear, by Swami Sivananda. He specifically says not to instill this 'Poochandi' fear in children, if they don't eat or listen to you. Because this 'fear that does not exist' carries on till the end of their life. It subconsciously makes them weak.

So what is the right way to make the kid do what you want? Or rather do the right thing?

2010-03-23T20:16:00.000+05:30

Started this blog to let out my thoughts, but unfortunately I have not been regular. I just hope I become a regular blogger

2009-09-21T09:40:00.000+05:30

"The more I chase, the farther it goes"....

Lately whatever I desire or wish has not been happening, even though I work sincerely towards it. On the contrary, the results have been just opposite of what I expected. And thats why I said "The more I chase the farther it goes" and I wonder why.

In the process of achieving one thing, I realized that, I have been sacrificing so many other things in life. I lost the everyday happiness and peace, I am not happy with my work as I have started to feel what is the point in working if there is going to be no result, I have totally moved away from my friends and relatives, I have not taken care of my body and mind for so many days now, and life has totally changed for bad. And today I just stopped and thought if it is worth all this. I mean, it is worth but in the process of achieving it, I have forgotten to stop and think if my path is correct.

Many times in life, I get so engrossed in getting and achieving something that I forget to relax, and think if I am doing the correct thing to achieve it. Finally when I dont achieve I get depressed. This might be true to others also, but I am not willing to generalize. I am glad that atleast today, I stopped to think and change my path.

My neighbour

2009-09-20T17:02:00.000+05:30

There is a sweet kid of age 5, opposite to our house. She and her parents moved into that house in June. They were in Mumbai for the past 6 years.

The kid was pretty shy initially but then after a few days she started talking freely. She would not step out of her home though. She spoke to me in Hindi and/or English but then she spoke to her mom in Telugu. (I thought having lived in Mumbai it is natural that she picked up Hindi.) Out of curiosity, I asked her mother if their mother tongue was Telugu. I was wrong. She said it was Kannada. I did not stop there. I inquired how the kid knew Telugu. She said that their families speak in both Kannada and Telugu and so the child also picked up the languages. I was amazed that a child of five could speak 4 different languages. Her mom surprised me more by saying that the child knows Marathi too. I was like What??????

By July, the kid started to converse with me in Tamil too. Her childish accent, mixed with the happiness of having learnt a new language was just too sweet. I wondered how a kid could know so many languages. And the best thing is, she knows which language to speak with each person. And till date she has never gone wrong in that.

She is normally awake till 11:30 PM. And till that time you can hear her screaming, singing, laughing, studying, crying, and fighting with her mom. Again I wondered from where she gets this energy at 11:30 PM. When I checked with her mom, she said, "she actually takes a nap for 2 hours once she is back from school".

She visits our house pretty frequently and I enjoy her company thoroughly. Yesterday was one such day. She entered my house with a bag full of books. It was her school bag and I was sorry that she had to carry so many books to school at such a young age. Normally she comes in with one small notebook and crayons and so this was unusual.

Every time she opens her small notebook she says this, "naan onnu chollaren nee kekaraya?" (Meaning: I will tell you something, will you listen?) Yesterday too, she opened one of her books with her usual statement. When I said, "Yes", she started reading out stories from the book. And she ended every story with a moral. She could not pronounce many long words properly, but her action and accent made me also a child, and I listened with such an attention.

After 4 to 5 stories, she put the book down and asked me to read out a new story. With great confidence, I took a new story and started to read. I tried acting out the story just like how she did, but it was an utter failure. So I just read out the sentences and explained the meaning. The story was only of 6 to 7 lines. But the questions she asked me.......made me think if I am really a post graduate. She asked 1) meaning of certain words, 2) why the story went the way it did 3) what is the moral in one line 4) the moral in English and Tamil. It was almost like attending a project viva. I stammered, blinked, thought and finally just hoped and thought that I satisfied her with my answers. Because I did find a smile on her face which was so long filled with questions.

Phew!!!!!!!!! I realized how difficult and at the same time interesting it is to satisfy a child's curiosity. I had to be careful with the words I speak, with the meanings I tell, with the moral I convey and translate. I wondered if I asked so many questions when I was young.

But then I enjoyed my time and when she left for her house, I decided to improve my vocabulary and reasoning power, so that I could be better the next time I tell her a story.

Children are God's greatest gifts!!!

Rolls!!!!

2009-09-19T22:25:00.000+05:30

Today evening there was a slight drizzle and a cool breeze. That made me think of hot bajjis. But then H said "Why don't you try Veg spring rolls?". I dont know what on earth made him think about spring rolls, but I did not keep mum either. My unfortunate day I said "Why not?".

Then I went to see if I have enough ingredients. There were a few vegetables needed. So H bought them and gave it to me. Meanwhile I searched the net for the recipes. Almost every site that had the recipe, talked about using frozen rolls. (the outer cover that is readily available). I was sure that I could not get the frozen rolls in any of the nearby shops. So I searched further. Finally a site gave me an idea of how to prepare the outer cover with maida flour.

I started cutting vegetables thinking if it was worth all the time. I have to accept I am not a great cook. Now and then I try new dishes, sometimes it comes out well and other times... well H gets unlucky. Today I was definitely in no mood to try any new dish. I could have very well taken my vehicle and in 10 minutes reach the restaurant where I get excellent veg spring rolls.

But then I continued with my trial. After 15 minutes, I knew it was not going right. Because my outer cover of rolls did not come out well and when I tried to deep fry the roll, the stuffing started to come out. So I called H. He came out with different ideas to keep the stuffing intact when frying. He said 'after all maida is used to paste, then how come this roll is not sticking properly?' Well a great question! Only if had an answer!

After 2 attempts, his creative idea started to work out. (His ideas always work out well, however impossible or impractical it seems). The stuffing did not come out in the 3 rd roll that I deep fried. So we continued with the same idea and deep fried 3 more rolls.

Result: The spring roll was definitely not bad for the first attempt. It tasted good. Ofcourse the outer cover of the roll was not as smooth and soft as what I get in my favourite restaurant. I actually wanted to take a snap of the rolls, but then we took were very hungry to do all that. And the rolls disappeared within a few minutes.

Except for the oil mess in the kitchen that I ended up cleaning for half an hour, today's attempt was not a failure!!!!

My likes

2009-09-18T16:38:00.000+05:30

I like
- people who don't self boast
- bold and confident people
- adventures
- music, infact I love
- blue and baby pink colour
- roses (of any colour)
- chocolates, sweets and ice cream
- people who can spread cheer and confidence to others, in less than a minute
- reading books (fiction, non-fiction, comics, spiritual,....)
- children
- badminton and tennis (watching and playing)

A dream remained a dream

2009-09-06T22:59:00.000+05:30

Today a young girl's dream that her father, who was bedridden for the past 6 years, will one day lead a normal life came to an end. Her father started his journey alone towards an invisible world leaving behind his middle aged wife, teen aged son and a young daughter. When I see something bad happening to someone I ask God this question, "Why did you do this to ---?". Today I ask the same question, "God! Why did you do this to that young girl?"

The dedication and love with which the whole family treated and served the head of their family cannot be described in words. Every time they took him to a hospital, they hoped and prayed that he gets better. But no, his condition worsened and today everything came to a standstill.

As soon as I heard the news at 6:30 AM today, I rushed to their house. I came to know that the father was admitted to the hospital two days before, as he slipped into coma and just yesterday night the doctor said that he was coming back to consciousness and hoped he will get better in two days. But suddenly at 6:00 AM today, he went to his everlasting sleep.

When I reached their home the body (Oh! It is disheartening to use this word for a 'person' who was alive just a few minutes before) had not yet arrived from hospital. The young daughter was sitting in one corner of the house. I did not know how to face her. Within a few minutes, the hospital ambulance arrived and four persons carried the dead patient into the house. The wife was inconsolable and often fainted. The son was balanced and I could see the determination in him to take the responsibility of his father. The relatives and friends started arriving and there was such a gloom.

Soon the son started his father's funeral rites. He was reciting the mantras, but his eyes were constantly on his mother and sister. I saw him cry once or twice; probably he understood the mantras. (I have heard that the mantras have deep meanings). Within an hour, four persons were ready to take his father on his last journey. They were carrying him to every person's permanent home. We all stood at the gate...For some reason, this Tamil film song came to my mind.."Veedu varai uravu........................kadaisi varai yaaro"

Then the house was washed and slowly his wife and daughter started to realize that the head of their family is actually no more. And they cried all the more.

Though I have witnessed the death of my grand parents and a few other elderly relatives, this scene affected me a lot. Whenever I see a funeral procession on the roads/streets, I silently pray for the soul to rest in peace. But today I realized that behind every death, there is one family which suffers and grieves for months/years. How many people's dreams are shattered by a death just like this young girl's?

But then, life has to move on. And I hope and pray that God gives courage and strength for this family too, to move on... The wife has to get better, the boy has to get a good job to support his family and the girl has to complete her school studies and get admission in a good college. So be it!

Customers?!?

2009-07-27T11:11:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I was sitting in the reception area of a scanning center, waiting to be called in for a scan.

A few minutes passed and then a staff came out from the scanning room and asked the receptionist, "The manager heard someone speaking over the phone. The person has said that he was asked to wait for half an hour more to collect the report. The manager is upset. Who is it? what is happening?".

(Just an information about this scanning center: Thanks to the technology they use, the patients can get their scan/test report in 10 minutes)

The receptionist looked puzzled and asked in general if anyone has been waiting for half an hour. No one came forward.

The receptionist started checking her desk to see if any report was lying there without being delivered to patients. Within another 5 minutes, a person's name was called by the receptionist and he collected the report and accepted that he made that call, assuming that the report will take another half an hour. (He actually waited for less than 10 minutes). Then that receptionist calmly explained to him that they generally deliver any report within 10 minutes and in case of complications alone they take a little longer. The person said "Thanks" and left.

I assume that someone told the manager about the person's assumption.

Now this kind of commitment and dedication of the whole team really amazed me. The order in which they worked, (neither creating any confusion among the patients nor asking them to come at a different time to collect report and not delivering the report at that time), the manager's commitment to satisfy the patients, the staff's dedication to trace out any mistakes, and above all the receptionist's patient explanation to the patient about their commitment. Not very often we see this kind of a team.

In many hospitals, banks we complain that the customers are not cared for. Yes, may be in some places it is true. Some organizations do not have any rules, commitment, etc because of which the customers end up wasting their time, energy and money for no mistake of theirs. But when the organizations do their best to help us, there is nothing wrong if we do our best to help them compelte the job soon. Like forming a queue and maintaining it (instead of creating a chaos near the counters), checking the documents that need to be brought for that job and bringing them in order, etc. Some may argue that we are giving them business and we have every right to demand. Yes, when they dont keep up their promise/word, we have every right to fight. But let us not assume that they always go wrong and we as customers are always right. In the above incident, I expected that person to say atleast a "Sorry". But he just collected the report and said thanks and went off.

Displeasing!!! Horrible!!!!

2009-06-29T11:59:00.001+05:30

I went to an outlet of a famous bakery in Chennai to buy cake for my friend. Thats the outlet which I frequent, but yesterday was the first time I noticed this.

As I was parking my vehicle outside the bakery, I saw a lady thoroughly enjoying a mango standing just in front of the bakery. I got inside and was seeing through the varieties of cakes piled up. There was just one salesperson and she was busy with another customer. So I just waited and in a few seconds, the lady with the mango came in and asked me "enna venum"? I was listing out my orders and just right in front of me she cleaned her teeth with her hands and without any second thought started to grab the cake which I asked for with the same hands. I shrieked... "Stop!". And she asked me "Idhane ketinga?" I was like........."Ennanga vaya clean pannitu, adhe kaiya potu cake eduthareenga?". Then she took a spoon kinda thing that was lying nearby and gave me the cakes I ordered.

I came out of the shop promising that I would never ever enter that shop again.

Well, I know the small food shops dont bother or cannot afford full hygiene. But being one of the popular bakeries, the employer must have taught the importance of cleanliness and hygiene to his employees. I did not expect the lady in the bakery to wear gloves and handle the food items, but at the same time I definitely dont want her clean her mouth and handle my food items with the same hand. It is unhealthy and we cannot tolerate this kinda, I dont even get a name for it, habit.

Yesterday's experiences

2009-06-18T11:07:00.000+05:30

1. I had an appointment with a doctor and I was waiting in the hospital around 10:00 AM. A lower middle class family, consisting three ladies (one old and the other two in late twenties) were sitting next to me with a quite tensed face and speaking softly. I did not want to interfere and was praying that everything goes well with them. Within 15 - 20 minutes a man came rushing to them and said to the old lady "onnu porandhuduchu amma....paiyan" (meaning: one baby is born...a boy). I understood the situtation and was quite happy for them. The man's mother to whom he announced the birth of a baby boy was not all that happy and I was wondering why. As if reading my thoughts, one of the other ladies "enna amma". (Probably the man's sister). The old lady said "onnudhane vandhuruku....innonu potta pullaya porandhuduchana kazhuda" (meaning: only one baby has come out....what if the other one is a girl). I am sorry to say but I felt like throttling her. The girl in me wanted to just strangle her neck and ask " being urself a woman why are you cursing a baby for God's sake which is not even born". As I started to realize how much that baby (if it is a girl) would suffer in this kind of a family. Yes, I read a lot about female infanticide and here I am sitting right next to a family which I dont know what would do to that baby. Oh God! Why is this society like this? A woman herself being an enemy of another woman. Is it not enough that so many men take women for granted and use her just for flesh (forgive my language). Just then another lady told her "enna amma ponna irundha enna? ponnudhama azhagu...adhudhama nambala madhikum, vachi kapathum... ennaku iruku paaru oru azhagana chella ponnu" (meaning: what if a girl is born? Only a daughter will obey us and protect us. See I have a cute daughter) and then she kissed her small daughter. Well her words kind of consoled me...

I heard someone call out my name and it was my turn to see the doctor.

2. I had to the go to one of the busiest parts of Chennai. I had to walk in a crowded street and I faced a number of perverted men who took advantage of the crowd. When I shouted at one such pervert, a woman nearby said "Indha area idhu madiri dhan ma. Alayuvanga" (meaning: it is a bad area and there are so many men just waiting to take advantage). I did not know how to react. Hundreds of school children, office-goers take that street to reach the nearby station daily, and they all just suffer silently? God...............why is it like this?

3. I had to take a share auto or bus to reach my friend's place. Just as I walked to the main road I saw a share auto waiting with a seat just for one more person. I got inside it and when the driver was just about to start a traffic policeman came by and stopped. I thought may be the driver stopped it at a wrong/'No Parking' place... But I was wrong. The driver said "Sir Vandhu tharen sir" (meaning: Sir, I will come and give". I was wondering what it was all about. Once the driver started moving, he said "namma vayatha kazhuvaruthuke varumanam patthala, idhula ivunugaluku daily Rs 100 azha vendi iruku". It seems each share auto driver has to give the traffic policeman a sum of Rs. 50/Rs. 100 depending on the person every two days. And this place is not a remote one, it is right in front of one of the busiest railway stations. I believe it is just not in one place, some days they even have to part with two or three policemen. Imagine the drivers sweating out to earn a few hundreds everyday and they have to give it to some third person. Is he a traffic policeman/goon. When they are appointed by the Government to help public, they are doing a day light robbery... I am sorry i dont have a better word for this act...

A pleasant evening...

2009-06-16T18:08:00.000+05:30

A Cobbler...

2009-05-14T19:32:00.000+05:30

I have to cross an ever stinking, open drainage, crowded, small (i am at loss of words) road to reach my office. I have been taking this road for more than 2 years now.

Yesterday just as I was entering the road my slipper broke. There used to be a cobbler on that road and luckily I spotted him in his shop. Well I should describe his kind of "shop". He sits on a wodden plank and a small "stream" of drainage runs underneath that plank. Even while walking/driving through that road, one needs to close the nose and mouth. I wonder how he spends the whole day there.

Anyway it was mid day and the Chennai heat was at its peak. And this cobbler had a thin plastic sheet as his roof. It took like 5 minutes for him to repair my slipper. The heat was unbearable for me. I wonder how he spends the whole day there.

He returned my slipper "indhanga ma" with a smile. And I gave him Rs. 5. He said "Thanks ma" again with a smile. Now what makes this cobbler smile to each of his customers? That too getting Rs. 5 or Rs. 10 as his pay?

I sit in my air conditioned office and the work area always smells good with the office boy spraying perfume atleast twice a day. Inspite of earning in thousands I wonder if I would get that kind of smile n satisfaction at the end of the day at office.

I have a lesson to take...

Pookara amma

2009-04-20T10:30:00.001+05:30

Flowers! Fresh Jasmine, Lily, Roses, Tulasi... This was the sight that welcomed me at a bus stop in Chennai. It was around 3 PM in the evening and many Pookara ammas were busily setting up their shops. The swiftness with which they were making the garlands, interacting with customers and at the same time taking care of the flowers by sprinkling water on them at regular intervals amazed me. "3 maniku kada potu 9 manikulla ellathayum vikkanum, illana nashtamdhan", this is what one Pookara amma told me.

That reminded of an old lady who comes to our house daily to sell flowers. I have not really thought about how much hard work she has put in, to bring them fresh at our door step every night at 7:30 PM sharp.

Flowers play an important role in the wedding ceremonies, family functions, parties, political meetings, temples, and the list goes on. And I feel it brings a kind of happiness and freshness especially in ladies - be it school going children, college girls, or office-goers.

I remember, my NRI friends who come to Chennai on long leave, adorn themselves with muzhams and muzhams of flowers. Because they dont get the kind of Jasmine, or lily garlands that our Pookara ammas make. Hats off to our Pookara ammas.

Just then the bus I needed came. When I was about to get in a small girl, must be 9 or 10 years old, said "akka poo vangitu po ka". She gave me 3 muzhams (from her small hand) of malligai poo for Rs. 10. That fresh malligai poo rejuvenated my mind. Thank you Pookara Ponnu.

Thoughts...

2008-07-17T18:57:00.001+05:30

Thoughts from the books I read in the past few days...

1. Do not focus on problems, FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS
2. Success should feed your responsibility not your ego
3. Leadership is not about position-it's more about passion.
4. Go back to sleep and dream, or
wake up and chase those dreams.
Choice is yours...

30 minute power cut

2008-06-05T19:25:00.000+05:30

It was 10:00 PM when I came home from work. This is not unusual for a person working in software concern. My mind was filled with thoughts about deadlines, deliverables, review comments..... The work that needs to be completed the next day caused concern, worry and irritation. I had a quick dinner and I forced my mind to stop thinking about work. When I was just about to drift off to sleep...the power got cut. Not a way to end a hectic day.

Thoughts about the next day added to the summer heat was just unbearable. Thats when my husband with a twinkle in his eyes and a cheer in his voice suggested going to terrace which means that I have to climb two floors. I did not want to disappointment him. Wondering what he is so cheerful about I climbed the stairs.

He sat down and asked me to sit nearby. The sweat and the pain from insect bites made me get upset with my husband. I started walking in the terrace restlessly cursing the power. On the other hand my husband was enjoying something. Out of curiosity, with an irritated tone, I asked him what was it he is enjoying in this kind of situation.

He made me sit nearby and asked me look at the sky. I did. A black layer decorated with white sparkles welcomed my eyes. I was somehow not able to take my eyes off that scene. I forgot the insect bites, and I was able to feel the cool breeze. The silence due to power cut that was kind of eerie before, now gave me peace. For nearly half an hour I did not even mind the pain in my neck.

I even started counting the stars like a child and argued with my husband about which star is the brightest. Tension about work, and the tiredness due to a hectic day disappeared from my mind. I can only feel the cool breeze, the countless stars, the black sky that spread over me to an immeasurable distance, and my beloved one next to me. It was just amazing. I dont remember when was the last time I enjoyed the power cut. Probably during my school days when I need not do my homework.

In this kind of hectic life which I am leading, I understood how a simple thing of going to terrace and staring at the sky for 10 - 15 minutes will make the thoughts about home, work, health and family just vanish from my mind. I often feel that I dont get enough time with my husband. We dont even talk anything other than work most of the times. Even if we it will mostly be about the issues in the family.

Suddenly I was disturbed by the lights coming from the buildings and the blaring sound from TV. I cursed the power for coming back.

When climbing down the stairs my husband asked "Coming down from another world?". Yes, in a way. I thanked him for taking me away to another world, which is our own terrace, for 30 minutes.

Morning Smile

2007-12-18T18:48:00.000+05:30

I enter my office corridor at 8:45 AM...
Ram comes with a speed of lightning.... He walks towards me browsing through his notepad and totally lost in thoughts.
I say a loud "HI", he looks at me, gives a firm nod, and walks away. NO SMILE!
Shyam walks briskly towards me. I say "Hi Shyam!" He looks at me and gives a short smile. His expression is like "Hello I have lots of work! I can only take half a second to acknowledge you". (But I know he is not that busy anyways :-))
Raj is having an interesting discussion with his team lead and when he sees me smiling and waving a HI,he does not stop talking to his lead but then gives a long nod and smiles.
Somu comes in frrrrrrrrrrrrront offfffffff meeeeeeeeee..... Yes he comes in such a slow pace. I smile and say a "Hi", he gives a very very weak smile and murmur a Hiiiiiiiiiiiii. Oh this guy is going to make me dull too... And I definitely dont want that to happen with a deadline awaiting me today.Raghu walks towards me with a big smile on his face. When he was like three feet away from me, he screamed a"Hi" which actually did jolt me a bit, and made all the people in that corridor turn towards us. If not Raghu, I definitely felt a little embarassed. Not quite a way to behave in a corporate environment.Suri is leaning on the wall sipping coffee and looking at something at distance. As I cross him I say "Hello Suri".He turns and says "Hi. How are you?" with a smile. (It was clearly visible that he was troubled aboutsomething/someone. Though I was concerned yet I did not want to be inquisitive)I move away saying "Have a wonderful day"(And praying that things get better for him)Raghav, coming behind me, says "Hello" and gives a cheerful smile. As I acknowledge him, he walksaway actively spreading his cheer to all the people he meets on his way. Mmm....This guy's smile and energyis definitely infective.With that thought in my mind I came to my desk and switched on my system. Well.... did I talk about my PM's morning smile Oh I mean scorn here?Yet another day with yet another category of smile.BUZZ....

6:30 PM call

2007-10-12T20:20:00.000+05:30

Our office hours are generally from 9 AM to 5:30 PM and 75% of the people leave for their homes at 5:30 in the evening. The rest 25% of the people are mostly project managers (PM) , development managers (DM) , technical architects (TA) and the developers (Dvp) who support the onsite team. You must have guessed that I am working for a software concern.

It was one of those days and this was the scene in our hall at 6:30 PM...
P.N. 4 project managers' desks are arranged side by side. They are all open cabins.

We (myself, DM and 3 dvps ) give a call to our onsite coordinator (OC) and discuss the issues we have. We are about to give a reply to one important question of his, suddenly a high pitched voice comes "Can't you just patiently listen to what we say. You keep repeating the same question without letting us answer". You can imagine our OC's reaction. He is like "hmm...come again". WE make it worse... we all burst out laughing. ( I am definitely glad that he did not bang the phone down). We say "it's not us... there is a conversation going on in the next desk" (well....there were times when we want to shout back but we have not done it so far and even if we do in the future we will make sure to keep the mute button on). OC replies with a shock cum mild voice "Man they are pretty loud". We just start to answer his question when another voice comes up "We are wasting our time explaining these kind of things". Believe me it was so situational. It was from one other PM's desk.
It was literally like a share market. Everyone talking about similar kind of things but not the same. The persons on the other end of the phone not understanding if the shoutings/compliments/excuses are intended for him.

All the conversations between the offshore and onsite team are very much like this. They both try to prove that each of them are right. The onsite team makes this call as their first work in the mornings. They mostly give a call with the thought "Well what kind of complaints/excuses is the offshore team going to give today". Whereas the offshore team is pretty tired after their full day efforts and they take the call with the thought "I have tried every damn thing and I am sure this will not work the way the onsite team says. I just hope he understands else I have to sit here the whole night... What a way to end the day?"

Well the coordination is not a very easy thing to do. But I just wonder if a little change in the attitude of both the teams will make any change in this regard.

It is just not between the onsite and offshore teams. It happens even between two persons, husband & wife, friends, relations, student & teacher, the list goes on......

In all the conversations two factors are very important "Listening patiently" and "Communicating clearly". There might be a few other things but ultimately I feel it nails down to these two factors. It does not come very easily but a lot of practise will definitely help. After all experience improves our calibre.

Oh!! Oh!! I am late for the 6:30 call Uff........ :-) Keep fingers crossed...

2007-07-30T16:13:00.000+05:30

I am interested in music and one of my favourite carnatic vocalists is Smt. M.S. Subbulakshmi. Be it a sloka or a song, her voice brings a divinity to it. Her voice reciting Venkateswara Suprabatam in the morning, can make anyone's day blessed!

I was going through one of her interviews. One of the questions to her was:
"What is The Greatest Satisfaction that a life like yours has brought upon?"
I was expecting that her answer would list her awards or appreciations that she has won over many years. But then her answer proved to be different... Her answer was:
"Each of us has a gift. We use it to the best of our abilities. That is nothing wonderful... What gives me satisfaction?... Well, I have never wished anyone I have known any harm. Perhaps, that has been my only real achievement."

Her answer amazed me! What made her give this answer? She was the first woman to be honored with Sangeetha Kalaanidhi, by the Music Academy, Madras. She has won the title Bharat Ratna, the Ramon Magsaysay Award and a lot of other prestigious awards. These did not satisfy her. But a noble character of hers, which is known only to her (or to a few others) is considered by her as the only achievement.

I was reminded of Theodore Roosevelt's words: "Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike."

What a bore!!!

2007-07-23T16:52:00.000+05:30

Today is a kind of day, when I dont feel like doing anything. ( Oh did i say that aloud? i just hope that my PM does not hear this). It is not that I dont have any work in the office. And it is not that some urgent work is waiting for me ( this is becoz i just finished a major chunk of work last week :-))

All my friends are working on major deadlines and I dont want to disturb their work. It is not like college hostel life. where I have wantedly disturbed my room mate for I dont know how many times. Actually I dont feel like talking to anyone. Is this why I am bored???? I dont know...

I read few of my friends' blogs. Some for the first time and some for the nth time. I just sat staring at my system, and wondered if it would gift me with some interesting thing, to do, to see or to hear. just 3 hours back I had my lunch and already I managed to finish one packet of corn puffs, one glass of mosambi juice, one packet of Good Day biscuits.. Hmm.... Is there anything left on my desk... yet? Not really.........God!!! why am I bored???

I should not sit continuously... and thats because my back pains but then I dont feel like getting up. I dont want to sleep, I dont want read any comic book, I dont want to have ice-cream, I dont want to have chocolates can you hear me???? YES I dont want to eat chocolates... (oh this might change in a few seconds) I dont want to have my favourite dish naan and chilli paneer, I dont want to have hot onion pakoda (huh!!!) What a day!!!!

I am just bored...................And thus my boring day comes to an end. Now I am off to home. Will I get bored even at home???? HEY!!!! YOU BORE GO AWAY FROM ME! WILL YA!!!!!

Signing off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

It is still 3:45 PM

2007-06-28T20:53:00.000+05:30

Have been beating my sleepiness....

Anyway i have been trying hard to keep my eyes open and thats when that phone call came. The lady over the other side asked for a person whom I have not heard of. I was just going to say that there is no one by that name in this area, but she was quicker and said that the person is not in my area, but 5 to 6 rows away from where I was sitting. I dont know why she did not try the extension that is 5 to 6 rows away from mine...... or if she had tried and no one answered that obviously meant that the person is not in her desk. Anyway I told her I will check.......

As I assumed she was not there and i told the lady over the phone that the person is not at her desk and i put down the phone.

Something was not OK........ After hanging down i just turned and looked towards the place where I had walked to. The place looked empty. For that matter the hall looked empty. This hall consists of around 100 -150 people and generally buzzes with activities at this time of the day. But then it was so silent and hardly 10 persons were there. Have I just dozed off.......... ???? How long have I been sleeping????????? Have my colleagues just left me there alone? what is the time now anyway? Without a stint, I saw my system time. And then my cell phone time. And finally my watch. Thankfully everything still showed 3:45 PM.............. Oh!!!! Am I glad?????

First blog

2007-06-22T20:01:00.001+05:30

Testing........